Object Gender Wars
Here is a list of properties that “determine” what gender objects have. The German translation is even funnier, because there, objects really do have genders. The watch is female, the TV male and a girl is neutral for whatever reason. Anyway, here’s the original English version:
Object: Ziploc Bag Gender: Male Reason: They hold everything in and you can see right through them.
Object: Copier Gender: Female Reason: Once they are turned off, they take a while to warm up again.
Object: Hot Air Balloon Gender: Male Reason: To get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it.
Object: Sponge Gender: Female Reason: They’re soft, squeezable, and retain water.
Object: Subway Gender: Male Reason: Every day it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
Object: Web Page Gender: Female Reason: They are always getting hit on.
Object: Hammer Gender: Male Reason: Even though it hasn’t changed in 5,000 years, it’s still handy to keep around.
Object: Hourglass Gender: Female Reason: Over time its weight shifts to the bottom.
Object: Remote Control Gender: Female Reason: You might think it should be male, but just think about how much pleasure it brings a man and how he’d be lost without it!